The Single Life // What not to feel guilty about.

This week I wanted to share a little list of things that once might have made me feel guilty but I've since found a new perspective on. When all of your friends are married with children, it's going to sound funny but you can sometimes start acting like you are married with children.  I'm sure you are all wondering what I mean by that statement. Let me explain, it isn't so much that you have an imaginary husband and kids making demands and expecting things from you. What I mean is that you start modeling your lifestyle to match theirs. We tend to emulate those closest to us. This isn't a bad thing, per se, but at the same time your life shouldn't always look like theirs. You are in a different stage than they are, and that is ok. You can still be a little bit selfish and you don't have to feel guilty about it.

 1// Do not feel guilty about sleeping in on your days off. 
Listen, I love a good sleep. On my days off, the number one thing on my list of things I want to do is to sleep in. Will this change eventually, I don't know, for now I still value it like gold. When I first moved to Florida and started my experience of living with a family, I have to say I felt a bit guilty about sleeping in. It wasn't anything my friends did, it was just something I felt. Like I was being unproductive or that I could be helping them. The thing is, those two things are true in some ways... but I have since recognized that as long as I get what I need to done they will manage fine without me. I have the luxury of not having other people dependent on me in the morning, this will not always be the case. But for now, it is and I am going to enjoy it for all its worth.

 2// Do not feel guilty that your budget is different than theirs. 
When you are responsible for you and only you, your budget is going to be a little bit freer than say someone who has a husband or someone who has kids. Your spending habits will be different because you've set your budget to a party of one's lifestyle, there is no one else sharing your income. On the same note, because some of your friends may be living on two incomes they may be able to do things and go places that your pocket book can't spring for. There is no shame in that, if anything use it as motivation to start saving more.

 3// Do not feel guilty about taking a break. 
When you are on your own, and use to being alone. It is easy to get over stimulated when you are surrounded by all the noise that little ones tend to make. I think most parents feel this way as well at times, the only difference between you and them is that it is now their normal. It isn't your normal, you don't have to feel bad about wanting down time. After you have kids down time becomes a rarity and not something you can really expect, but as a single you can expect it.

 4// Do not feel guilty about wanting girl time. 
This is a hard one because it is easy to come off as a jerk, as if you don't like your friends husband and can't stand their kids. This obviously isn't the case, but anytime you are trying not to include certain people it can come off negative. When it comes to wanting girl time it's best to seek out your fellow single girls, if you don't have that option things get a little more complicated. The thing is, most of your married friends want to include their spouses because their spouses are their best friends. They love them and want them to be included. This is a natural thing. It is understandable. At the same time it isn't always ideal for you. There is only so much fun to be had when you are always the 3rd or 5th wheel. Sometimes you just want one on one time with your girlfriends. No husband or kid distractions. This is one of the situations where you will probably have to plan an outing in advance, so they can have their spouses make plans and get a sitter lined up for their kids. The important thing to note here is that it is ok to ask your friends for this kind of hangout every once in awhile, you don't have to feel guilty about it.

 5// Do not feel guilty about saying NO. 
Your married friends want alone time with each other, they may come to you and ask you to watch their kids. If you like babysitting then by all means offer your services on the regular, but on the flip side if it's not your cup-o-tea, they have other options out there they can utilize. You shouldn't feel obligated. Most of your friends with kids have other friends with kids, they can do the kid trade-off for a night-off and if that isn't an option there are always teenagers eager to make babysitting money. There is no reason to feel guilt, it is ok to say no sometimes. On that note, when it comes to family type outings such as kids movies, playground dates, the zoo, etc, if you don't think it's something you'd enjoy, just be honest. Most of the time your friends are inviting you with no expectations, they just want you to feel included. It is better that they invite you to everything, than they not invite you to anything.


Whenever I talk to other singles that are surrounded by friends that are married or have growing families, I hear a lot pertaining to the above. I think the important thing is to keep the dialogue open. Just like with any other relationship, communication is everything. You love your married friends, they love you. That is a truth that you can rest in. The sticky part is learning how to be what the other person needs. Those needs change depending on what chapter of life you are in, what you need from a friend as a single is often times different than what your girlfriend who is no longer single may need from you. As a single you are still looking for companionship, those few individuals to go through life with, share your ordinary every day experiences with. When you are married you have that companion in your spouse, the role of your girlfriends shift. I encourage you to make time for your friends, plan a coffee date and be honest about what you need from them and return ask what they need from you.

(I just want to make a small note, that I recognize the above list is a tad on the selfish side. I'm not saying that you should always say no or that you should never offer to help your friends... what I am saying is that it's ok to live your life as a single even though you are surrounded by families.)

my space so far

As you all know, I've recently moved, I wanted to give you a little look into what I've done to my space so far. I still have a ways to go. It isn't exactly styled yet and I am missing a few things for my walls but I thought I'd give you a little peek and then let you in on some of my future plans.

So without further ado...



As you can see, I am embracing the light and putting as much white in my room as possible. I just wanted the space to feel as bright and airy as an 11x11ft room could. I'm also trying to reel in my inner pack rat/ knick knack queen and embrace the minimal. I am not achieving this completely, but I have come leaps and bounds from where I was before the move.

The walls are still bare, I have plans for them. I am just saving up the funds. I don't think anything is going to happen anytime soon since Christmas is right around the corner and I love buying presents, but I'll be putting little bits aside for a few floating shelves to go up in front of my desk and for a few nice frames for some of my photographs. I am thinking about printing a couple oversized prints to help anchor the space above my bed.

All in all I am happy with how everything is looking so far and excited for future projects.

Have you revamped anything in your space recently? Seen any projects on Pinterest you think I should try? 

Moving Days 1 & 2

I am not a fan of moving or packing. It is exhausting and not really all that fun. I've had two days of moving so far and if I'm being honest I am over it. Haha. I still have all my big furniture left; the bed, desk, dresser and book shelf. But I have moved all of my bathroom stuff, clothes and all of my little knick knacks/ decor items.

The two tips I have to share when it comes to moving are... have patience with the process and if you aren't moving too far away move one room at a time. That way you can unpack each room as you go and you will feel less overwhelmed at the end. For me, it helps me feel like I've accomplished something when I see a room come together.

I am ready to just be done, but alas I won't be moving the rest until next Monday and Wednesday. 

For now I will just be happy with what I've accomplished.

We Didn't Need a Stud or Stud Finder

Hanging curtains isn't easy. At least it wasn't for me and my friend Carrie. We spent a good portion of our day learning, through trial and error, some tips that we could share with you. But first I am going to break down my Ikea haul... just in case any of you are wondering what I got.

1// Lucite Chrome Plated Chair   2// Shower Shelf   3// Towels and Washcloths   4// Floor Lamp   5// Curtain Rods   6// Toothbrush Hand Towel   7// Shower Squeegee   8// Bath Mat   9// Light Bulbs   10// Finials   11// Extra Curtain Rod Holders   12// Brackets   

13// White Blanket   14// White Sheers   15// White Curtains

As I mentioned in my post on Wednesday, I went to Ikea with a budget of $300. I was able to get all of this for $307. I was pretty happy with my haul. The most expensive item was the lucite chair for $80. The other pricey item was the floor lamp at $60. Aside from those two pieces I was able to find everything else for under $20 a piece. There obviously were more expensive (probably better quality) options but these are the ones that worked best for me.

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Now... on to the curtain hanging party. Aka my friend Carrie schooling me on how to properly hang a curtain. Wednesday my dear friend Carrie came over to the new house on her day off with the intentions of helping me hang my curtains. What came after was 2hrs of laughter and lessons. Everything we did on the curtains over the doors, we modified for our attempt with the curtains over the windows and cut down our time dramatically. We both learned some time saving tips as well as gained confidence in knowing we could do it on our own. Being a single woman, I've got to say it is nice to feel like you can handle a home improvement project on your own without a guy to help. (I know this wasn't an insanely hard project but you've got to start somewhere.) Don't get me wrong, had I had a significant other... I would have totally put him to work. Haha. But because I don't, this whole experience was quite empowering. 

So without further ado here are my 4 simple tips on hanging curtains.

Tip # One// Pre drill your holes. This made hanging the brackets much easier. It was quite difficult for us to hold the bracket, screw and the drill all at once... pre drilling cut the time we spent on each bracket in half.

Tip # Two// Use your level as a measuring guide. Mark your distance down from the ceiling on your level with painters tape. That way each time you need to put in a bracket you can just press the level all the way up to the ceiling and make your mark by the bottom line of the painter tape. It makes the process of getting everything lined up and straight so much quicker.



Tip # Three// Use wide head screws. They hold better and offer more support. There were a few brackets that we had to add a couple extra screws to help support the weight of the double curtain rods.

Tip # Four// Recruit a friend that knows more than you. I've never hung curtains. Honestly, I went into the morning thinking it was going to be an easy in and out ordeal. Had Carrie not been there with me, I probably would still be there trying to figure it all out. (Ok, maybe it's not that hard but you get what I'm saying. haha) If you are starting out in a new city and have yet to build a social group, YouTube can be your best friend. There are a number of tutorials (I discovered these after) that could help you.

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I know the bathroom needs a little more love... but I am excited for the few pieces I've purchased for it so far. I am thinking about getting a stand for over the toilet. I don't want to block all the natural light though so I am going to try and figure out another solution for storage first. I'll keep you updated.



Our official day we can move-in is October 15th, next Tuesday. I plan on making a day of it and just filling my car and transferring as much as I can. October 23rd we are getting a truck and will be moving all the big furniture. I'm excited to just get everything started. I am definitely going to miss our current house, we've been here 2yrs and I love it, but I am excited to create a new space for myself and to share the journey with you.

Happy Friday Friends!!

And so it begins...

We are moving house this month. In preparation for this, we've already had a garage sale to downsize before the move. And... we had a painting party, our new space needed a little love. A few of our amazing friends came over for the day and helped us bust out the whole house. It was awesome. (Thanks again friends! You all blessed our socks off!)

My bedroom area was an oceany blue. The color itself wasn't bad, but it just wasn't fitting my vision of how I wanted my personal oasis to be. I decided to go with a white shade that has a hint of grey in it. My current bedroom is quite dark and one of the things I love so much about this new room is all the natural light. The lighter color just reflects and bounces the light even more, which makes me happy :)

The day of the painting party, I had one gallon of Behrs All-In-One paint to cover my entire room. When Nate, Carrie, Jan and I started painting the walls we quickly realized that it was going to need at least two coats. Not wanting to buy another can, I crossed all my fingers and toes and prayed that it would be enough. Waiting the 2hrs suggested to paint the second coat (warning: I'm going to be a bit dramatic) definitely felt like a form of slow torture. I kept myself busy by helping paint the other rooms in the house, but I was counting down the minutes in the back of my mind the entire time. I just wanted to know if it was all going to work out. I wanted to see the finished project. But like a lot of things in life, it's a process and if you rush it... you tend to mess it up more than help it along. So, I waited. As soon as my clock reached the two hour mark, I grabbed my roller and went to town. A little later, Nate came in to help me which I was very thankful for. Looking at the amount of paint we had and the walls definitely kept me nervous. We both knew it was going to be a stretch. We got down to literally a 3ft x 4ft square and we were all out... my heart sank. I really didn't want to buy more paint. So, I headed out into the living room to see if there was any of the white left out there. There wasn't much but Chris said I could use some. Nate dipped his roller in once and then I took it back out to them. I didn't want to use all their paint since they were running low as well. When I came back in the room, it wasn't looking good. Then I got an idea, I sat on the floor with all the rollers and brushes we had been using and I squeegeed out all the excess paint. It was like I just found gold, the excitement I had come over me was pretty ridiculous. But we had enough to finish off the wall we had left, plus go around the entire top, plus fix some of the places that we went a little thin on.... plus I took the rest out to the living room and it helped put a second coat on the wall out there. You can bet that I considered that a major WIN!

So, my first tip (it may not be new, but it was something I recently discovered) is to squeegee the heck out of your paint tools before you purchase more paint. When on a budget, every dollar counts and that saved me quite a few dollars.

One of the things I am having to wrap my head around is the 11x11ft I have to fit all of my stuff in. So my solution was to measure all of my current furniture and then head over to my new room and figure out a way it can all fit by taping out their measurements on the floor. Honestly it has helped me visualize and get some fun ideas on how to make it even better than my current space.

So, my tip number two (this also is probably not new, but it was to me) is to literally tape out where you see your pieces fitting into the room. If you are a visual person like me, it helps to see the space laid out before you, so you know what you need to keep and what you may need to let go.

Stay tuned over the next month... there will be packing posts, unpacking posts, decor posts and then the final reveal. So much goodness to come :)

It's time to unwind.

Let's be honest life gets busy. Our calendars fill up quicker than we can blink. We all have a number of commitments and responsibilities that fill our days. That being said, If we aren't careful we can get to a point where we burn ourselves out. That is why I truly believe, no matter if your married, dating or single that it is extremely important to take a little "me" time to unwind and reflect. I came up with 5 easy ways to unwind after a long day, that don't require too much time.

Disclaimer: When it comes to all of these suggestions, they all are a suggestion of taking at least 30minutes for yourself. I hate how easy it is for people to say, I can't find the time... you can make the time to take 30 minutes for yourself a week. I would go so far to say each day (or at least every other day,) but I don't want to push my luck with those of you who are married and have kids. I know your schedules are jam packed. I can't speak for your schedules but I encourage you to try and find the time. I truly believe you will be happier for it. 

Go for a simple picnic.
It can be in your backyard or on top of a mountain. Just pack yourself a nice treat, grab a favorite magazine, book, devotional or a journal and embrace the slower pace. It's simple and doesn't require you to spend any money. Shop your pantry or fridge for the treat and pick up that book that's been sitting on your shelf for the last 6months just waiting to be read. If by chance, you don't have one of those books... call a friend and raid their personal library.

Watch the sunset. 

The first step is to get outside; go to the beach, a park or if you don’t want to leave home head out to your yard. Once you’ve found your sunset spot, take a moment to reflect on your day. You will never have that day again; each sunset marks the end of something. I encourage you to make time to be thankful for all the good that came to you and to release all the bad. So when the sun rises and brings you a new day, you can walk into it the best way possible.

Go for a bike ride or walk. 

Take some time to “literally” escape your surroundings. Grab your ipod, turn on your favorite song and just go. Not only will this help you de-stress, but it will burn calories and keep you healthy. Win-Win.

Treat yourself. 

For a lot of people something sweet like chocolate or ice cream is a nice treat, but for others you may enjoy a glass of wine or a rich strong coffee. It doesn’t have to be outrageous, it just has to be something that makes you smile.

Take up a hobby. 

We all have a lot of things we “have to do,” because of this I think a lot of us lose sight of the things we “want to do.” To battle this, I encourage you to take the time to rediscover something you once loved or uncover something new that brings you joy. It can be anything from blogging, cooking, scrapbooking, couponing, baking, sewing, drawing, painting, writing, photography, etc. Just find something you can get excited about and start doing it. Don't put it off for tomorrow.



These are simple things that we all know, but rarely do. I think it's time we change that, what about you?